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Main » Lifestyle & Fashion » Courting & Dating
 

Top Ten Dating Tips for Singles

 
Author: Tonja Weimer

Is the dating scene overwhelming you? Would you like to meet someone, but find that you become discouraged by all the mixed messages out there? And what is it, exactly, that makes someone successful at dating?

Here are ten areas of your life that can change what you do and how you do it when it comes to dating. This checklist can serve as a reminder of what is important to you, as well as get you prepared for the best dating life you have ever had.

Top Ten Dating Tips for Singles

1. Know that dating is an adventure.

Somewhere along the way we got so serious about the whole business of dating. One bad date does not define who you are. If you hold the idea of dating as one big adventure, you will lessen the pressure and relax a little more.

2. Build a box of evidence.

If you are nervous about meeting people, you need reminders that you are wonderful. Save every note, postcard, medal, and treasured word you have received from someone and put it in a box. Take them out and read them before you are going out on a date. You need to be reminded that other people are happy to spend time with you, and that you have much to offer.

3. You can find love.

Believe and know that there is someone wonderful out there for you. Do not listen to the voices of others who say otherwise. All the good ones are not gone...how could they be? You are still here.

4. Do something sincere for others.

Being kind to others, demonstrating compassion, and showing people that you care about them is as important for you as it is for them. You don't have to be a "pleaser" but make a generous gesture to someone everyday and notice how good you feel. Just a sincere compliment is a gift to people.

5. Do what's right.

In a time when cynicism and depression can creep into our lives, we are tempted to think and say, "What difference does it make?" Well actually, it makes a difference to you if you noticed something is not right and you need to "right it." Do what's right, even when it doesn't matter.

6. Develop your authenticity.

Polish, cherish, and live your authentic life. Be your one-of-a-kind self. No one can be you; no one can replace you. Find your style, mission, purpose, gifts, and values. Therein resides who you are.

7. Don't settle.

This is a big one. Too many people get scared and settle for someone who is less than they want. "...The voice of intelligence is drowned by the roar of fear." Karl Menninger Fear of being alone can drive people to make choices that are unsuitable for them. Dating takes courage. Courage to keep going out there to meet people, and courage to hold out until you meet the one for you.

8. Know your deal breakers.

Everyone has a list of "must-have" requirements...they just usually don't know it. It is their hidden agenda. Bring those qualities into the forefront that you must have in a partner in order for a relationship to work. If you don't know what they are, get a coach or counselor to help you discover them.

9. Do your best to look your best.

Looking good is important, but just as important is looking good and then forgetting about it. Do not obsess about your appearance once you have done everything you can do. It's important that when you go out on a date, you show up...not just a shell wearing some new clothes. That means that you are available to listen, share, and notice the good in someone.

10. Who said it would be easy?

Somewhere, we became enamored with the notion that we didn't have to do anything to meet our true love. Dating is hard work. Once you realize that, you can lighten up a little bit and it can start to become fun. Meeting new people and evaluating whether you want to be with them or not, while they are evaluating you, is stressful.

If you pay attention to the above, you may find several areas you want to focus on or improve in your life. These tips will make you more attractive, happier about your life, and more possible to have the relationship you long for.

Author Bio:

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation

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